Back in January, exactly 8 weeks ago, I was browsing through some blogs and came across a post entitled 'What A Woman Talking About Chips Taught Me About Body Image' over at Pouting In Heels it stirred something inside of me and prompted me to STOP and think about the lifestyle I was living...
A completely healthy lifestyle in terms of what I was eating but in fact it was starting to destroy my confidence and it was having an adverse effect on Ellie, she wasn't eating, she had become OBSESSED with how she looked, fussed with what she was eating and was actually hardly eating anything at all. There was even one point where she sat on the stairs in tears in tears because a pair of jeans didn't fit her. Now, let me explain said jeans didn't fit her because they were simply too small..an age 8 pair of jeans on an age 10, who wears age 11, body. she had simply outgrown them...but she didn't see this.
She saw she was ''too fat'' as she stood there trying to pinch some skin from her stomach as she shouted at me telling me it was because she was fat. She wouldn't listen to me when I was trying to explain she had just outgrown them.
Roll on 8 weeks...not a massive amount of time I know BUT in that time a lot has changed so Kate here is a note to you..
Thank you Kate, thank you, thank you for saving me from a life of counting 'syns'. From a life of checking calories and fat content. From a life of asking....'Do I look OK?''. From a life of pulling myself down. A life where I kept telling myself I wasn't good enough.
A life where what I looked like, what I weighed and how I felt RULED over everything...
Thank you Kate for saving my daughter from a future that followed the same as mine had done, from saving her from thoughts that could easily have turned into an eating disorder had I continued the path I had chosen.
I know some may read this and think I am being dramatic, which maybe I am. But wouldn't you be if your daughters well being was at risk?
I now don't care what I eat, and I am definitely no longer shouting about it. I don't count calories, syn's, fat content...anything. If I want it I eat it...I use my common sense to live a healthy lifestyle. I go running once a week, I exercise once a week, I walk EVERY day.
Last night I had warm fudge cake and ice cream...Wednesday night I had the same and a glass of wine...there was no guilt, no counting took place and I enjoyed the food I was eating, actually tasting it, I enjoyed every sip of wine that I took.
And Ellie? She is now eating properly. She now rarely complains about what is on her plate, what is in her lunchbox. She hasn't complained about been 'fat' I haven't heard the word ugly come from her mouth. I haven't heard her obsessing over the fact that all of her friends have 'boyfriends' including one 10 year old who apparently has a 14 year old boyfriend....which to be honest I have told Ellie is BS! this 'friend' is trying to make herself look good I am sure of it! I mean what parent would let their 10 year old have a 14 yer old boyfriend...just who?
So to you Kate, who probably just thought you was writing a post that would get people thinking, not realising it would change a life, maybe 2 life's if you count Ellie too, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I don't have any words that can tell you just how thankful I am.
The Demons are gone and its with thanks to you,
Lots of love,