Getting Healthy and Stopping The 'Diets'.

I just started to read a post over at Pouting In Heels it's all about body image and it starts with a tale of a Mum and Daughter talking about chips, and I mean reading it made me stop and come over to a blank blog page and has made me write this post, the fastest post I have ever written (start to finish in less than 20 minutes) because its all honest, its from my heart and because I mean every word, I hit publish without even thinking about it, because that young girl, that Mum that Kate heard...could easily have been me.

I don't want this to jut sit as a draft for me to never see again. I want it out there so that you all know, for you to stop me the next time you see/read/hear me complaining, moaning, feeling guilty. 

As you all know I was a Slimming World member for the most of last year, I stopped in October due to me being a bit ill and have since made an attempt to return that lasted 2 weeks and I was due to start back in January too BUT I am yet to return, It doesn't mean I am a failure, but there's one big thing stopping me...

This girl....

My beautiful, gorgeous, kind, loving 10 year old Ellie. The girl who has started obsessing with foods, fussing over foods, breathing in so she doesn't look 'fat, crying because a stupid boy at school called her ugly because of her glasses. 

So for now its time to stop counting the syns, stop checking calories, stop searching menu's for the best option, its time to stop feeling guilty for that piece of chocolate cake at pudding. Time to stop feeling ridiculously guilty because we went for hot chocolate. Its time to start enjoying life and stop panicking about what the scales will say on Monday.  It's time to stop with the 'I'm too fat for that dress'.

Dean will always come home from work and greet me with an 'Alright Beautiful' or a 'Hiya Gorgeous' and I will shout at him to stop being stupid, time to stop telling Dean 'don't call me beautiful, you know I'm not'. 

Don't get me wrong I don't intend to turn into Waynetta Slob but it's time to start caring for my body in a healthy way, thinking of myself in a positive way. Because if my husband and kids are telling me I am beautiful then I must be...right? It's time to start taking the time to take a pride in the way I look, instead of moaning about how I look, do something about it by taking 5 minutes in the morning to just put some makeup on. 

And not so that Ellie things you have to live a life wearing makeup, I mean I only wear a little foundation and mascara, but because I know when I have make up on I feel better about myself.

And if I feel better about myself I know I wont be moaning about myself. 

And if I'm not moaning at myself, fighting with myself, hating myself then Ellie wont be hearing it and she wont be thinking that the way someone looks is important. 

I have started Thinking Slimmer, which works on your mindset. There is no 'diet' its all about your mind, your thinking, your attitude. Ellie knows nothing about it, she doesn't need to know. All she needs to see is a healthy attitude towards food, and weight, and body image. 

So FU*K YOU demons, FU*K YOU! I'm not listening to you anymore...I'm not letting you rule my life...I'm not letting you ruin my 10 year old's child hood...I'm not letting you make me make my daughter hate herself. (does that even make sense?)...I'm not letting you tell me I'm not beautiful anymore...I'm not letting you tell me I'm fat anymore. I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT!

Beau Twins

Brilliant blog posts on