15 Things Every Toddler Should Do Before Preschool.

I thought I'd follow up my popular 15 Things Every Baby Should Do with a toddler list, written by a toddler for a toddler.


1) You know the trolley rides at the supermarket that are soooooooooo fun, yeah the minute you hit toddlerdom is the minute you decide you hate them! You are NOT going in that trolley! No amount of sweet talking and bribery is gong to work...DO NOT GIVE UP! 

2) During said supermarket trip touch everything...hide in the clothes and plonk yourself down in the library (Mummy calls it the magazine and comic aisle??) and refuse to move until you have picked every single (believe me there are a lot) Cbeebies comics up and had a look. 

3) When Mummy caves and says you can have one, (and she will do this because she wants to get her shopping done), it takes a lot of skill to choose the perfect comic but here I have narrowed it down to help you with your choice * Find the most expensive comic there is * Make sure it has the shittest (sorry thats a bad word) free gift ever * Try and make it one you have never ever heard of, I mean that Ben 10 comic when you haven't got a clue who this Ben is? PERFECT!

4) Now remember that trolley I mentioned earlier? Yes? Well half way around the shop you are going to remember that you like the trolley again, but instead of telling Mummy (or Daddy) this you are just going to scream....and scream...and scream and throw yourself on the floor...and then scream a bit more. Mummy likes this game of guessing! And she just LOVES the looks she gets off other Mummy's (with toddler's who haven't seen this bucket list so don't actually know how to behave in public!) 
And sometimes, if your lucky she will open the bananas/grapes/chocolate and give you some just to shut you up! A supermarket picnic...get in! 

5) At the big soft play area give your grown up some exercise by only playing if they play too! 

6) Every now and again, go play by yourself at soft play...remember its fun to be independent, but make sure you climb to the highest possible place and scream blue murder...because you cant remember how to get down and its actually pretty scary! 

7) There are also another couple of rules to abide by at soft play these are a) when you first get there hang around your grown up and moan and whine for food and a drink b) when said food and drink arrives run off, you don't want THAT anymore, you want to play! and finally c) although when you got here you didnt want to play its actually been great fun and when it comes to home time run, I mean it  run as fast as your little legs can carry you , up to that really high place where you can hide and not come down!! 

8) Nanny and Grandad are King and Queen, you know why? They will get you everything you want! EVERYTHING! Mum/Dad says no? Ask Nanny or Grandad they ALWAYS say yes! Oh and you know Mummy doesnt let you have that super fun luminous fizzy drink? Nanny and Grandad do AND, get this, they let you have the big bag of Haribo and let you eat it all in one go! (Because whats the point in a fun size bag, you always want more!!!)  Oh and it doesn't matter how naughty you are, they never ever tell Mummy and Daddy!

9) Refuse to leave the house until you, and only you, have put your own shoes on and fastened the laces (yes I know we haven't learnt that skill yet but it doesn't matter) and put your own coat on and fastened it by yourself....remember we are independent toddlers and we can do everything ourselves. We are 2 and 3 years old now, we do not need no grown up help!

10) Your wardrobe is a world full of opportunities, Mummy spends a lot of money making sure you have nice outfits and that you have lots of tops to go with those specific jeans BUT you know what...That real thick winter jumper will look awesome with some summery tropical printed shorts especially on the hottest day of the year! And that gilet/body-warmer Mum got you? Yep that looks cool just on it own...with just your pants and no top!!! 

 

11) Wear your wellies with everything! Unless it winter then its sunglasses everyday!



12) When ever your grown up's are in a rush and running late (which actually should be all the time because your independent now and everything takes a little bit longer) refuse to get in your pram/car seat. Mummy loves been late anyway, and Daddy? Well its OK when he's late! Right?

13) When your grown up decided to let you walk 'for a change' halfway to the destination sit down on the pavement and refuse to move, sometimes if Mummy really has ''had enough'' she will take you n the bus to get back home, result!! Oh unless for some reason they have the pushchair with them, in this situation you can walk all day.



14) Ask inappropriate questions at inappropriate times. Like Whats That Up Your Fluff Mummy?  

15) And right now is the time to embarrass your Grown Up's, because you know all them bath time/potty/funny face pics they have stored on their phones and camera's? Well when you get bigger Mummy is going to show them to all of your friends...yep that naked pic of you? She will show them that too! So make sure you make it as embarrassing as you can get! You know telling the postman that Mummy has diarrhea or telling the man at the shop that Mummy has got a spider in her knickers. 

14 comments:

  1. Love this, I think you must have been spending time with my toddler too lol.

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  2. Or telling everyone at kids world that automatically to roxy has something big on her nose....


    Thanks jenson!! Git!!!

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  3. Hehe, sounds like I have a lot to look forward to!!

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  4. This is fab! We have experienced MANY of these so far. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

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  5. Love your list. Really funny #weekendbloghop

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  6. Ooooh there are SO many things I can add to this!

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  7. Hilarious!! I think I've got lots of fun and games to come...! Ooooops! The twins don't quite want to dress themselves just yet but not long...!!! x x

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  8. Hilar Hun! And I loved the photos. God kids be cray cray! Brill post xxxx

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  9. Heehee ;) toddlers are mental aren't they... Lol xx

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  10. You crack me up Becky!! Are you sure you're not a toddler yourself?! This is a little too convincing if you ask me ;)

    #TheList xx

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  11. Loved this, giggled the whole way through. We had magazine standoff in the supermarket today...I won! #badmummy #pocolo

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  12. This is brilliant! And so very funny. Number 3 and 8 particularly apply in our household and I am so with you on the sh*t free gift (note how I blanked out the bad word). Great to see you guys over on PoCoLo and thank you so much for linking up :) x

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  13. How very true! Great post! #pocolo

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