I'm On A Mummy Rant! (PS sorry for the swearing)

This afternoon has been another shit one! I just feel like such a failure lately, I don't know where I went wrong as a Mummy but my kids are brats...they don't listen, they are just so naughty all the time its an embarrassment to go out.

I don't know when I lost my confidence to be a 'now listen to me Mummy' but now all I seem to do is get flustered (to be polite), and shout..sometimes scream...to get listened to! 

Take today, I had an opticians appointment booked for a time I knew Dean would be with me so no kids to worry about...yeah right! I forgot about his inability to control all 3 little kids on his own! (I might sound like I am being mean BUT its all true and he will say this himself!) 

Back to the tale...

So I get this opportunity for ME time...On a Saturday...In the afternoon (well not really me time seeing as its for a health appointment but meh im not fussy ill take it!) and well it didnt happen!

As soon as I was called into the opticians room I could hear them in the waiting room Evie moaning because, well because she is a 5* moaner, she wants something she cant have...Elsie palying a shouting game with herself 'mamamamamamamama' at the top of her voice (no fuss about that she is a baby after all!), and Jenson trying to have a conversation with Dean, who wasnt answering him because he was trying to deal with Evie....'Daddy....Daddy...Daddy...DADDY (getting louder) ...DADDY ... DAAAAADDDDDYYYYYY'. All the time I'm sat thinking JUST FUCKING ANSWER HIM FOR GOD SAKE!

I could see the pissed-off-ness in the opticians eyes, as she was clearly thinking god will he do something with those kids (but the fact is he doesnt have the confidence to be left with all the 3 monsters so would rather be close by!).

Next thing you know (the assesment not even started yet) 2 questions in and Dean knocks on the door...Evie needs the bloody toilet FFS, So I leave the room to go and get Jenson to come and sit in the assesment with me...except would you believe it, Jenson been Jenson DOESNT BLOODY WANT TO! Dean had gone (swift exit, thanks Dean!) and Jenson wants to do something completely different, just because you want him to do this one simple thing he chooses now to act an ass...FUCKING GREAT!

And not just any kind of ass but a complete tantrumy-spoilt brat-screaming-shouting-throw himself on the floor-headbutt the floor kinda ass...

At this point the optometrist decided that there was no point in my appointment and basically told me to leave and come back when I don't have the kids with me!!! (Well she didnt say this but she may aswell had!)


So I grabbed Jenson under my arm and swiftly left, fighting back the tears of embarrassment (AGAIN) and disappointment and just pissed-off-ness that as per fucking usual I don't even get 10 minutes to myself FOR A BLOODY APPOINTMENT!

 And then I realise I don't have my phone and don't know which way Dean went so I have to stand outside the tantrum contining because he wants his chuffing Dad....

Safe to say I didnt make another appointment and I will probably go blind before I even dare set foot in the opticians ever EVER again! And that hairdresser's appointment I had...yeah cancelled that too! And the appointment to get my eyebrows waxed? Yeah cancelled that too!!