15 Things Every Baby Should Do Before They Turn 1.

Think of this some kind of baby bucket list. Must-Do's shall we say! Written by a baby (aged 10 months) for babies everywhere! 

1. Make sure that your nappy explodes at least once....and when I say explode I mean a poopy explosion so big and so gross it has everyone in the room heaving and begging for air!

2. If you would prefer you can attempt number 1 on a quick trip out you know to the park/shops etc this is even funnier because the grown up's don't take a change of clothes and sometimes are dumb enough to say ''oh we won't need a nappy they just got changed and we won't be long'' 

3. Pee all other your Dad...it's funny! And Mummy thinks so too.

4. Empty every bowl of food you are given all over the floor...those grown ups just love cleaning it up!!! Unless they have given you something ridiculously messy to eat (think spaghetti bolognaise) in this case pour and rub all over your body (or clothes if your grown ups are too stupid to change you out of them!) and remember to pay special attention to your hair. 

 

5. When that bloody camera/phone/iPad comes out remember it's photo time, smile all cute and look your bestest...until they click that little button. That,  my friend, is your cue to scarper as fast as you can, leaving a superhero zoom on the photo they just took. 



6. Cry for the entire 1 hour journey home to really stress mum/dad out then when you are just about home stop screeching and fall asleep.

7. Cry and scream like your life depends on it because you NEED a cuddle right now and you don't want to be in the pram, under a raincover you WANT to be in the rain! 

8. Poop in the bath, preferably one your sharing with a grown up....watch their faces it's hilarious!! 

9. Every now and again decide that that routine that you just got into and love, yeah it's not so great any more. You WANT a new routine and you want one NOW!

10. Be all cute at old ladies, Mummy loves talking to strangers that just randomly stop her to talk about you, it's like her best thing ever!!! 


11. Attempt to break Mummy or a Daddy's nose either with a real hard toy u can hit them with or with your head, just an ever so gentler harks back of the head butt should do the trick.

12. That Argos catalogue/magazines they just got? They make an awesome sound if you scrunch the pages and if you pull real hard, sometimes the pages come out and you can eat them.

 13. When you learn a new trick like erm standing/crawling/ walking/talking mum and dad will mention it to everyone, so when this happens (because you are not a performing monkey right!) refuse to do it, pretend you can't. Make them look like liars! 

Whadda ya mean I can stand up? 

14. Empty your toy boxes until there isn't 1 toy left in it then decide they are all shit and your just going to cry do not under any circumstances allow Mummy to pick ANY of them up...Daddy likes a mess when he gets home from work! 

And now we come to the end of the list and if you don't do any of the above you MUST, MUST, MUST do this at least ooohhh once a week, maybe more, it all depends on how tired the grown ups are!

15.  When the grown ups are tired and ''so ready for bedtime'' this is your cue to play a game I like to call Let's Pretend I'm Not Tired! ****Warning**** this kind of backfires as you do then end up a bit too tired and just want to cry a lot! But don't worry, you do know a crying baby cures that headache they say they have right? 



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24 comments:

  1. The parental nose-break with toy or head is alive and well for us! I love this list, have been mentally ticking each one off! #PoCoLo

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  2. Hahaha!!!!! This is brilliant!! The babies all get a manual downloaded into their brains, all my 3 have done all of them!!! Xx

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  3. Ha ha … My daughter is nearly 2 and I thin I can safely say she has kicked this bucket list….. Great post and great to find you via #PoCoLo

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  4. This is very sweet!! Love that pic with the toys all over the floor, that's a "it wasn't me" look right there haha!! Also the performing monkey thing is so true the little monkeys never want to show other people!!!

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  5. Fantastic List!! My daughter has most of the nailed, still waiting for number 8 though, hehe #pocolo

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    1. oohh lucky you! All 4 of mine have done it to me...yuk!

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  6. Brilliant!! Always good to hear that it's all babies that do this!

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  7. I love it!! Especially the one about making mom & dad look like complete liars about you crawling/talking/walking!!! #pocolo

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  8. Haha! This gave me a good giggle, babies are such monkies but we love them so much for it xx

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  9. Funny list! Yes I think I have experienced every item here before my son turned 1 =) #pocolo

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  10. Haha Brilliant! Toby's done several ridiculously explosive poos but the rest is yet to come as he gets older... Can't wait! #PoCoLo

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  11. Yep my kids have these all ticked off! That's three nose break attempts 1 head 1 toy 1 shoe'd foot !

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  12. Very funny list...so its you that has been giving my daughter all of these ideas!!!! :-)
    #mummymonday

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  13. I laughed at every one of these. Ive only experienced half but know I know what to expect :) X

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  14. Hehehe this is fab! :)
    I just had a little boy 10 days ago and he's already ticked some off!! lol.
    Lianne | TheBrunetteSays...

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  15. oh my god, I've never experienced poo in the bath and I hope to god I never have to!! Great list, babies are delicious aren't they?

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  16. This is so funny and I can so relate... As can my one year old I'm sure!! #madmidweekbloghop

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  17. Hilarious!! I can safely say that may two are in the club and managed all 15 points

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  18. Haha good list and made me laugh. Our little one is 3.5 weeks old so it looks like I have a lot to look forward to! #MMWBH

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  19. LOL this post is epic! And I think I can safely say with all five of my birds, everything was done that you mentioned, lol. Excellent post and thanks so much for linking up with #MMWBH xx

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  20. I love this! I have a 7 month old who has made his way through a lot of these, a few more to tick off the list in the next few months though! Lyd x

    F U Z Z Y P E A C H D R O P S

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